U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
