I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
