they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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