You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
