I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize