uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
sarcasm needs its own font
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
