I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
