Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
