I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
