Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's blow job season.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
