Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My vagina is very pro this idea
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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