Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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