dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
