I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
