Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
