You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
