I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
