tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
