I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am one with the molecules
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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