he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
