That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
