I just made out with a guy for $7.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
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