hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize