you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
