no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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