this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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