what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
