Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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