we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
