drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
