I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
