I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think my moral compass just broke
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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