3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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