There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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