i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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