dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
