Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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