If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
