I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
