it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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