I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
