Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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