i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
