Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
