i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she looked like the before picture.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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