and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
