my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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