haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
