Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
