Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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