Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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