There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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