ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
