Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
