I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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