was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
