So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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