Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
