He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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