Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize