Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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