NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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