i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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