I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
