He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
