omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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