We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize