We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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