So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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