watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
MIDGETS
????
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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